Today at 3:04PM my sister, Sabrina Pernisco, passed away. Just writing these words down feels so wrong. I'm still coming down off of the death of my father and now I'm writing about my sister. My sister Sabrina. I've known her my whole life and now she's gone. Forever.
Life is really testing my limits right now. I've never felt so weak. I'm trying to keep myself together, but I keep finding myself pushing this aside like it's a normal thing.
She was turning her life around. Making positive changes for herself and so excited about them. After seeing the success my Mom has had with going vegan Sabrina decided to give it ago. She's been sticking to it and feeling good. She's been trucking it at work and busting ass to buy everyone Christmas gifts. She was so excited for everyone to see what she got them, and to be honest, she picked out amazing gifts. Each gift was perfectly thought out.
Her heart stopped sometime in the morning on Saturday. Her boyfriend woke up and noticed she was unresponsive and tried doing chest compressions until the ambulance arrived. They brought her to the hospital where they were able to get a pulse back but during the process she had another heart attack or two. By the time I got to see her I could already tell she was gone. There was a light that was missing and even though I don't believe in spirits or souls I could see her body was an empty shell.
I stayed at the hospital with my Mom until her body became so cold it couldn't clot the blood anymore and she started bleeding out. That's when I had to go back home. I didn't want to remember her like that.
I woke up this morning and tried playing Destiny to clear my mind. I ended up hopping off as my friends hopped on. They wanted to play but I couldn't really be in a party chat... or even commit to playing for that matter. I decided to go back to the hospital. Mostly for Mom. She never left the hospital, not even to shower.
We got there I got to see Hanna. We were visiting for a couple of minutes when Olivia came and told us that it was time.
I think the rest of the situation is best left out of memory. I don't want to remember the details. I'll just say we got in the room about two minutes before she flatlined.
I've lost two family members in two months. I feel so hollowed right now. I'm trying to be strong, but fuck! Sabrina was my big sister. It made me indescribably happy spending time with her, even when she annoyed the shit out of me with her Sabrina-isms.
I'm finding difficult to even reconcile this. You know, well at least she's happy now, or she's finally at peace. Those are things I've already said after losing Dad. They don't seem to apply now for some reason.
Tortured as she was, the world has lost a big heart and that's always a sad thing. Something that merits the whole Earth stopping for a second so people can appreciate this loss. I wish it would anyways.
Life is really testing my limits right now. I've never felt so weak. I'm trying to keep myself together, but I keep finding myself pushing this aside like it's a normal thing.
She was turning her life around. Making positive changes for herself and so excited about them. After seeing the success my Mom has had with going vegan Sabrina decided to give it ago. She's been sticking to it and feeling good. She's been trucking it at work and busting ass to buy everyone Christmas gifts. She was so excited for everyone to see what she got them, and to be honest, she picked out amazing gifts. Each gift was perfectly thought out.
Her heart stopped sometime in the morning on Saturday. Her boyfriend woke up and noticed she was unresponsive and tried doing chest compressions until the ambulance arrived. They brought her to the hospital where they were able to get a pulse back but during the process she had another heart attack or two. By the time I got to see her I could already tell she was gone. There was a light that was missing and even though I don't believe in spirits or souls I could see her body was an empty shell.
I stayed at the hospital with my Mom until her body became so cold it couldn't clot the blood anymore and she started bleeding out. That's when I had to go back home. I didn't want to remember her like that.
I woke up this morning and tried playing Destiny to clear my mind. I ended up hopping off as my friends hopped on. They wanted to play but I couldn't really be in a party chat... or even commit to playing for that matter. I decided to go back to the hospital. Mostly for Mom. She never left the hospital, not even to shower.
We got there I got to see Hanna. We were visiting for a couple of minutes when Olivia came and told us that it was time.
I think the rest of the situation is best left out of memory. I don't want to remember the details. I'll just say we got in the room about two minutes before she flatlined.
I've lost two family members in two months. I feel so hollowed right now. I'm trying to be strong, but fuck! Sabrina was my big sister. It made me indescribably happy spending time with her, even when she annoyed the shit out of me with her Sabrina-isms.I'm finding difficult to even reconcile this. You know, well at least she's happy now, or she's finally at peace. Those are things I've already said after losing Dad. They don't seem to apply now for some reason.
Tortured as she was, the world has lost a big heart and that's always a sad thing. Something that merits the whole Earth stopping for a second so people can appreciate this loss. I wish it would anyways.
Related Posts
Life
Sunday, December 23, 2018
0
